Something totally bananas happened this summer. It has taken nearly twenty-five years but I finally reached my level of giving zero f*cks when it comes to wearing a bathing suit in public. I’ve spent too many days sweating through denim at the beach and denied my daughter playtime in the pool because of some cellulite. This is not a way to live.
Wait, Wendy! Did you finally lose that baby weight from ten years ago?
Well, no. Instead, in early June, I started to see the #justwearthesuit movement swell on Instagram. First started by Los Angeles blogger, Carly Anderson of Lipgloss and Crayons, she encouraged women to embrace their special beauty and to start creating memories. I heard the body positive rally cry.
So, I told Megan that we should definitely participate. She agreed to letting me take a few photos of her in my backyard pool with a promise that I would get a photo of myself during my upcoming Hawaiian vacation. I just wasn’t ready to strip down in front of her or the camera yet.
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I can remember when I first felt truly uncomfortable in a bathing suit. I was a junior in high school swimming at a friend’s house. There were some other kids there and I could have sworn I heard something said about my body. I don’t remember exactly what was said or if it was even about me or my body but it made a lasting impression. My own negative self talk started way earlier than that though when a joke about a fat free ice cream sandwich went awry.
Scrolling through Instagram, I felt so empowered by women of all shapes and sizes just wearing the damn bathing suit. I was feeling pretty ok in this bathing suit from Target. This was the moment. I threw my hat on, took a few sips from my cocktail and jumped in the pool. I made sure my husband took at least 100 pictures from just the right angle.
I see cellulite on my arms, deep wrinkles in my décolletage and I know what’s hiding beneath the water line. But I also see a genuine smile on my face.
Buy: Merona Twist Back One Piece Suit from Target (the criss-cross back offers great support and I love the shirred midriff! I’ve ordered a second one for next summer.)
It was in that moment that I decided to put all that negative self talk aside and make some memories. Our Hawaiian vacation was one of the best ever. I rode water slides from pool to pool and walked my jiggly ass up a million steps to ride the slides again and again. We walked along the beach and played in the ocean without a care and I quietly reminded myself to #justwearthesuit when my self-confidence began to waiver.
As I lay in my lounge chair, people watching, I imagined that we had all gotten the #justwearthesuit memo. It was so freaking liberating.
Buy: Merona Belted Wrap Front One Piece from Target (I love the support and details on this bathing suit and it comes in three colors!)
This doesn’t mean that I’m cured from all the negative self talk. I am still very aware of my body and what I don’t like about it. I wish I could live in my self-judgement free Hawaiian bubble but I have returned back to reality torn between the body positive movement and my desire to lose 30 pounds.
BUY: Merona Gingham Tie Shoulder One Piece from Target (love that design of this sweet suit, wish it had a little more support. Still fun to wear in the backyard pool but not made for running on the beach.)
I do think it’s important to keep reminding myself that perfect doesn’t exist otherwise I’ll continue to miss out on making memories.
TOTALLY! Against my wishes – I wore the bathing suit on our recent vacation. Our twins were so excited to have me join them in the pool. It was totally worth it!